Living With Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
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| Jeremy Jr. |
On April 18 2002 my nephew Jeremy Jacoy Johnson Jr. was born weighing in at 7 pounds 3 ounces. Looking down at this little bundle of joy, I hated the thought of him being born to two of the dumbest people I’ve ever known. His mother Marquita banks, was an eighteen year old who dropped out of school in the ninth grade. When she left Mississippi in 2000, she came to Kenosha Wisconsin with nowhere to live. My mother and father being the type of people who didn’t want to see anyone homeless let her stay with our already big family. After staying with us for 2 weeks, I found Marquita took interest in dating my troublesome teenage brother. Jeremy Sr. was the black sheep in family. He would disrespect both my parents by not listening to the rules they set for all of us , using foul language when in their presents, and literally having fist fights with them in front of company. He would also act out in school and was always getting in trouble with the law.
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| Jeremy Sr. |
After finding out about the two, my mother was determined to keep them apart as much as possible. It wasn’t an easy job because instead of one child rebelling against her, she now had two. Around July of 2001, Marquita and my brother broke the news to my parents that they were expecting their first born. Feeling like failures, my parents had to except the fact that they had to raise another child. As the months added up, things just got worse. Jeremy Sr. became more abusive, not only to my parents, but the mother of his child also. Becoming more afraid of my brother, they thought it would be best for him to get checked for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). After going through a lot of website, doctors, and counselors, my parents got the answers they were looking for. Right before my nephew was born, in 2002 my brother was diagnosed with ADHD. After finding out about the disorder, my brother was prescribed Ritalin. The medication helped for the time being, but he stopped taking the meds because he was complaining of chest pain, uncontrollable body movements, and savoir headaches.
At the age of one, Jeremy Jr. seemed to be a little quicker than normal but I thought it was because he was going to have a sibling soon. When he turned three it seemed like he couldn’t stop moving, he was always on the go. Becoming angrier every day, Jeremy Jr. would hit and bite people for no reason. When we tried to teach him new things, he would go from one activity to another. Our family didn’t think anything of it, we just thought of it as the terrible toddler stage.
In 2006 and two babies later, my parents finally had enough. They thought it would be best to put Marquita, Jeremy Sr., and the kids into an apartment of their own. Only paying for the security deposit and first month rent, my father knew they wouldn’t be able to make it on their own. In less than 3 months all five of them where back with more shocking news: Marquita was pregnant with their fourth child. Jeremy Sr. became even more difficult to live with as the months rolled around. So difficult that my parents had committed him to the hospital so that he would take the drugs his doctors prescribed for his disorder. Marquita didn’t like want my parents did to the father of her children, so she wanted to get them back.
When I woke up the morning after my brother was committed, I walked down stairs to witness all three of my nephews being torn from my mother arms. I stood there silenced as tears and words were thrown around the room. After the room fell quite, the door opened then closed and my nephews where gone. A couple months passed and I couldn’t take not being able to see my nephews, so I asked my father to call and see what was going on with them. While talking to Marquita, my father was excited to find out that she given birth to a healthy baby boy. He also was shocked to hear that she was willing to let the boys stay with us on the weekends. When my brother was let out of the hospital, he was a changed person. He wasn’t as rowdy as he use to be, he was a claim, sweet, and respectful young man. Taking his medication helped him a lot, only time it didn’t was when Jeremy Jr. came around. Jeremy Jr. was as bad as they came.
After a while my brother just stoped seeing the boys all together, Blaming it on his disorder. When finding out about what my brother had said, Marquita started pulling the kids away. Seeing her doing so, I thought it would be best if I went to see them every weekend. The more I went to Waukegan, the more I hated their living situations. The small apartment was filled with cockroaches, beds and sheets filled of piss, and hardly no food in the refrigerator. I had to let her know that if she doesn’t do something about the living situations, I was. I guess I put fear in her, because every time I came down, the house was spotless, there was food in the refrigerator, and my nephews looked clean for being boys. I had to pay to get the whole apartment bombed for the roaches, but it wasn’t just for my nephews, it was for all the kids that lived in that apartment. After seeing that my nephews where living in decent conditions, I had to spend more time on school because my grades were slipping. Even though they lived 40 minutes away, I only found time to visit on summer break. Every summer I went to Waukegan, Marquita was pregnant by a new guy. I really didn’t care what she did with herself, but when it came to my nephews, I was pissed that they weren’t getting the attention they needed.
Early 2009, I thought it would be nice to take my nephews sledding and grab a bite to eat. When I arrived at their house, I noticed that all seven kids were left in the house and were being watched by Jeremy Jr. He was only seven at this time and didn’t know how to take care of himself let alone six kids. Being the aunt, I stayed with all the kids until Marquita came home. When she made it home at 2 in the morning, I confronted her about what I’ve seen and let her know I will be doing frequent pop-ups. I guess this time my threat didn’t mean anything because every time after that I walked into Jeremy Jr. watching the kids. I started to notice that my nephews started to get bruises. I asked Marquita about the bruises and all she would say is “They is bad, little Jeremy is the worst. Little Jeremy is the ring leader.” Listening to her dumb response to why only my nephews have the bruises, I knew it was only one thing left to do. After numerous visits from Department of Children & Family Services, a broken arm and a cut to the forehead got their attention. Three weeks later I sat in a packed courtroom, watching a tape with a caseworker talking with Jeremy Jr. he talked about how he took care of all 6 kids while his mother was out. At the end of the conversation the caseworker asked him whom he would like to live wit, Jeremy Jr, said “My Tee-Tee Melissa, because she was always there for me.
A week later, my fiancé and I on our way to pick up Jeremy Jr. from the foster home he was placed at. Everything was working out fine at first. Attending school for the first time ever, Jeremy’s teacher informed me that he was behind but that was something summer school could fix. She also let me know that he was having trouble concentrating while doing his work. I thought it was because he has never been in a classroom setting before. Later that night I tried helping Jeremy with his home work, I too noticed him not focusing on his work, and getting frustrated when he sat for too long. After several months, Jeremy became a little hard to deal with. At school he would constantly get into trouble. Fighting with other students, using foul language, not listening, speaking out of tern, always out of his seat, and being hyper all the time, always lead to suspensions from school. At home Jeremy acted the same way. Not know how to deal with this behavior, I turned to my mother. She suggested that it might be the same disorder his father had.
I looked up a few websites to get a better understanding of the symptoms and signs. I found that Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is a disorder that is found in early childhood, typically before the age of seven. I also found that a child with ADHD can pay attention when they do or learn about things they like, but if they find a task boring the can quickly tune it out. ADHD can behaviors can be different in boys than girls. Boys are more likely to be primarily hyperactive, whereas girls are more frequently undiagnosed as they tend to be quietly inattentive. Girls who have trouble paying attention often daydream, but inattentive boys are more likely to play or fiddle aimlessly. Boys tend to be less compliant with teachers and other adults, so their behavior is often more conspicuous.
Finding out more about the disorder I knew it was time to see a doctor. After taking Jeremy to three specialists I found out that he should have been diagnosed with ADHD since 2007. I wanted to get him on medication right away but Dr Laveck informed me to give it some time and medications were not always the answer. Every visit we have she gives me ways to help Jeremy with his disorder. One of the things she told me was a video game will help keep him focused, and it can also be a reward for good behavior. She also told me to get the teacher involved with helping out because he would be with her for more than half the day. So Dr Laveck came up with a few tips that would help the teacher and me. Some of them being display the rules, provide clear instructions, post daily assignments and chores in the same place, make a quite spot in the room, focus on a specific behavior we want to improve ect…
Jeremy Jr. was diagnosed ADHD in 2010, so far most of the tip Dr Laveck gave me worked, but he is still acting out in school and at home. Showing very little improvements, Dr Laveck thinks it would be best to start Jeremy on a medication called Adderall. I always been there for my nephew, and just because he’s different from the other kids, I still won’t give up on him
Reference Page
Melinda Smith, M.A., Ellen Jaffe-Gill, and Robert Segal, M.A-http://www.helpguide.org/mental/adhd_add_signs_symptoms.htm
Medical Reference
Dr Laura Leveck
Developmental/Behavioral Pediatricians
